Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
