garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My liver just broke up with me...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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