Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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