everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
