This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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