I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
