Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
