oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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