Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You left your phone here
Wait...
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