I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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