i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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