is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
