On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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