i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
