She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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