just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
