PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
