well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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