Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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