Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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