Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We're too hungover to prance.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
