doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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