Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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