im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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