There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
