I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
