i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
