woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You took a bar mat shot.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
