matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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