O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
not ubering you a puppy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
