i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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