she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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