He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
