My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
