I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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