if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think i have two assholes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
