Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
