i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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