an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
