Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
