Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
