My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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