it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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