Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
