He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
