I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
