I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize