saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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