matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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