the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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