kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
